I consider myself to be a pretentious person, but in no way a mature one. The comments on the Best Foreign Language Films of 2009 post (see below) are making me want to fill a Super Soaker with my own urine and seek retribution for all the goddamn bellyaching, sanctimoniousness and just generally tittish behavior therein. I know this is the internet, and therefore any communication is delivered with the forethought and consideration of a walking anus, but when every damn comment is a petulant, sublingual indictment of my person or choices…well, that grates.
Responses to the column seem to fall into two varieties: the first - “AIN’T DONE NE’ER HURD OF DIS YURE GAY LULZ QU33F!!!1~`” can be dismissed out of hand, but the second – “Where’s Sin Nombre and Thirst? This list is clearly gay and retarded!” really bring my piss to a boil.
I saw Sin Nombre – a nice film with attractive cinematography – good but not great. I saw Thirst, which was refreshingly Lynchian but otherwise not up to Park Chan Wook’s usual standards. I prefer to interpret the demand for their inclusion as: “Hey, I saw two foreign language films last year, or at least two I didn’t hate: Sin Nombre and Thirst! I didn’t see a goddamn thing from this list, therefore I must be validated by harkening for what I did see!” Fuck you.
It should also be noted that I am not above editing comments which I consider irredeemably offensive, such as those that bust me for grammar slips and/or typos or are just bitchy for no discernible reason. If you’re considering saying something like “This list sucks” or “This review is fucking terrible” without an adequate rebuttal or backing, don’t be surprised when you look back to find your comment now says “I’m a stupid ugly moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.” Some of my fellow Pajiba peers find editing comments unethical; I say fuck that, we’re arguing from a position of power.
In conclusion, I hope we can all play nice and, if sauciness and petulance are truly deemed necessary, we may at least endeavour our comments to be funny. If you can’t seem to find a way to back up a contrary opinion or phrase it in a way that doesn’t make we want to rape your mouth, well, prepare to get fucked with.
